When I die, I am going to specify in my will to rent a student driver vehicle and strap me in the driver seat with a living person in shotgun, actually driving. The sign on the back shall be updated to "Dead Driver." My family must create a blog called the Grateful Dead Tour, wherein my body will be transported to each city and town across Alaska, Canada and the contiguous United States that operates a brewery. My life insurance money shall be used until depletion to buy every patron a pint of the strongest beer on tap. After the life insurance funds are depleted, my driver will inquire at each subsequent establishment "who'll buy a dead guy a brew?" Any donations shall be distributed among the poor in equal portions. - Forest Kvasnikoff
Posts
- Get link
- X
- Other Apps
Qualifications to be the leader of the free world for eight years seemed to include the ability to speak elegantly and/or intelligently about a host of issues and not actually delivering on any stated goals or promises. Now, presidential qualifications seem to grind down to: having a rich daddy, speaking in monosyllabic incomplete sentences, having bewildering hair, an ego the size of Alaska, the propensity towards hyperbole, and grabbing pussy with tiny 'famous' hands. - Forest Kvasnikoff